My Uncle Sal used to play a trick on his friends, using my 5-year old cousin as his accomplice. During a conversation, he would casually mention that they had recently had their son’s IQ tested, and that he had scored well above a genius level. To quiet their disbelief, he would then ask my cousin several difficult math and history questions, and to their amazement, he correctly answered all of them. It helped that my cousin, who had been secretly coached by my uncle to give the right answers, sold the prank with a cherubic smile.
I think of this every time I talk with someone who is planning to go to college. Like my adorable little cousin, most young adults have spent their entire lives being coached by their parents, teachers, the media and their friends to give the ‘correct’ answers to really complex questions, without really understanding their meaning.
They cheerfully talk about the schools they want to attend, the subjects that interest them, the types of social activities and groups they would like to join, and their excitement about finally being on their own. For most of these kids, and for those of us who went through this stage, these decisions don’t seem like long-term commitments.
Pouring Cement Shoes
Fast forward just a few short years, though, and external pressures have already started to turn these decisions into more permanent commitments. Financial burden, parental guilt, love, competitive pressure for better grades and other influences begin to force us to abandon our creativity and risk-taking, and move towards more ‘stable’ decisions.
Most starry-eyed High School Seniors don’t dream about winning an accounting department internship at a regional insurance company. Yet by the time they have gotten to that point, we’ve started to convince ourselves that adulthood is all about compromising, and it’s better to ‘get their foot in the door’ than to hold out for some distant, unrealistic pipe dream.
Sure, I can hear some folks grimacing as they read this, and ranting about the value of hard work, and starting from the bottom, but is that really the advice we would give our 18-year old selves? No! Under no circumstances would you go back in time to tell the slimmer more beautiful you to “buckle down, give up on your dreams early and settle for that crappy entry level position”.
The advice you would give would probably have soundbites like these: Fight for your passions, follow your dreams, keep things simple, surround yourself with friends that will make you better, make health and good habits a priority, have faith that it will work out…
This is a great place to start, and it’s excellent advice for any age. But for it to work, we need more than positive sayings and general wisdom. In order for us to create the life of our dreams, we also need an awesome plan that takes us from the initial thought through to successful completion, and that allows for the twists and turns that life will throw at you.
The Benefits of a Good Plan
So what does a good plan give us? If we put it together correctly, and continue to protect and nourish the plan over time, here is what a Balanced Life Plan provides:
1. A clear sense of self. Most of us think we have a clear idea of our beliefs and values, but how often do we take the time to write them down, validate that they still make sense for our lives, and make sure that we don’t hold separate beliefs that contradict each other? A Balanced Life Plan will help you get clear on the values you hold sacred, so that when you define your goals, they are in complete alignment with your beliefs.
2. Financial Peace of Mind. Our career and our financial health play a major role in our lives, and is often the cause of incredible stress and anxiety. Without real peace of mind, we can spend a majority of our lives dealing with the fallout of poor financial planning. A Balanced Life Plan will help us get our arms around our financial life, simplify our financial picture, and help us put money in its rightful place in our lives.
3. Healthy relationships. Most failed relationships come down to differences in very important areas, like money, communication, faith, trust and respect. You will not be 100% compatible with anyone, but a Balanced Life Plan will help you find and focus on the beliefs and values that you share, establish healthier communication and build a protective wall around your most important relationships.
4. A healthy body, mind and spirit. A significant amount of our behavior, our mental and emotional state and our physical vitality is affected by a few simple things that we can control: our diet, the amount of sleep we get, exercise or activity, and some sort of spiritual connection. Our complete health is critical to living a full, rich life, and a Balanced Life Plan will help provide a quick inventory of your personal health, and help you live a healthier lifestyle without making unrealistic changes or commitments.
5. A winning team. Everyone wants to be on a winning team of people that love, support, respect, challenge and inspire them. A Balanced Life Plan will help you define your own personal ‘Dream Team’, and will establish the team rules, from how you communicate, to the roles that everyone plays.
6. Ability to cope with challenges. You are guaranteed to face challenges in your life, from the most serious personal problems to everyday annoyances. While it’s impossible to tell what challenges will come your way, A Balanced Life Plan will help you develop your backup plans, as well as give you the tools to respond to life’s challenges in a productive and positive way.
7. The grace to give to others. When you have reached a state of balanced health, when you have put your finances in order and in their proper place in life, and when your relationships are harmonious and positive, you will find yourself in a strange and wonderful place. Sure, life won’t ever be ‘perfect’, but it’s incredibly powerful to eliminate chaos and uncertainty, and replace them with calm confidence that everything is going according to plan. It’s at this point where we have the ability to tap our deepest potential, and use our talents to help others.